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Straight to gay men videos full#
And if you liked men, akin to how straight women like men, well you’re just not the full man anymore.
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Calling them gay was a direct attack on their masculine identity, making them appear ‘less of a man’.īecause someone decided somewhere and somehow that if you weren’t straight you weren’t counted. We learned how rappers in music continue to use the term f*ggot to emasculate their competition. Why it’s important for some men to feel like a conventional masculine man, and more importantly that everyone else in society sees them as manly too. We learned as a society how we put hyper-masculinity and hetereonormativity on a pedestal- how society tends to accept, unknowingly, that straight life is the normal, only choice.Īt college we began learning how societies obsess with masculinity can often lead to toxic bullying in a variety of settings, especially in school and the workplace aimed at those who do not fit into the mold. In Ireland, it’s a topic that was incredibly interesting given our long lineage of Catholicism. Hetereonormativity and internalized homophobiaĪt teacher training college, we had whole semesters on child psychology based around homophobic bullying. And femininity.Īnd really when you think about it, equating liking rugby instead of RuPaul’s Drag Race as something which makes you more of a man, is a pretty narrow mindset which reeks of privilege.Īnd it’s long time we address this. That by being straight-acting is somehow a ‘ superior life choice’, fails to recognize there are many, many types of masculinity in the world. It’s internalized homophobia on a public scale. To explicitly state traits you think are negative from a man, and to sign-post that on a public profile is quite tactless and reinforces decades upon decades of stigma leveled against the gay community. I’ve had many men on these apps using my being out as a gay man as some sort of a negative - ‘oh so people KNOW you’re gay?!”’ sets off some sort of alarm bells in their head. When I see ‘no femme’ taglines, it reinforces that archaic idea that being anything other than straight is mediocre and something to be ashamed of. I think it’s perfectly fine to be looking for a set of characteristics from a potential partner.īut equating that as a gay man, other men are beneath you simply for being who they are crosses so many boundaries it’s ghastly. Let me be clear, I think it’s perfectly fine and acceptable that in this world of billions of people, you have a type. isn’t into traditionally ‘feminine’ things or gay culture such as drag queens, fashion, pop music…or anything relatively fun. who can pass as a heterosexual person in public, and seen as ‘straight-acting’, because being ‘too gay ’ is a bad thing?
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someone who is predominately interested in fitness, sport, wood-cutting…you know, manly things? In this context, the masculinity they refer can mean anything from. Found on dating profiles, it’s usually followed by a defensive cliché such as ‘not into femme, no offense, it’s just my type.
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‘Masc 4 Masc’ stands for a self-identified masculine man looking for another masculine man. Emphasis on Masculinity - a blight on the gay community And it’s an attitude that should be challenged. I read it with an eye-roll every time and wonder to myself, who on Earth decided what is or isn’t masculine?īut the tagline is becoming a staple part of the gay community. That there are more out there, like me, albeit a few hundred kilometers away.īut with each new profile, faceless or otherwise, is a now common tagline attached - ‘straight-acting, masculine…no femmes please’. And cried.Īnything to make myself appear as a traditional man’s man.Īs a gay man who lives in the countryside, I rely heavily on dating apps to remind me of the fact I’m not ‘the only gay in the village’. Before I came out and accepted myself for being gay, I was trying desperately to hide it.įor the longest time, I tried everything in my power to edit myself.